TO LOVE AND TO CHERISH
If I am honest, I have never been able to decide on a favourite part about weddings. From the moment bride makes her grand entrance to the groom’s reaction when he sees her at the aisle. The first dance and the often awkward but endearing speeches, I simply love everything about wedding ceremonies. But many would agree, it’s the part when the couple say their vows, it is so remarkably reassuring when promises of a lifetime are made and the couple affirms their love in front of everyone.
I have always been a huge fan of couples writing their own vows, incorporating cheerful anecdotes, meet cutes and the sweet nothings. But there is something so incredibly beautiful and deep about the traditional vows. Each word is a promise, each word reasserts our faith in love, each word makes us tear up every single time a couple has said it. Really, whether you choose to write your own vows, stick with tradition or combine the two, the moment you say your wedding vows is one you’ll remember for the rest of your life.
If you have been following our wedding blogs, you probably know how we feel about elopements or intimate wedding ceremonies. Of course we have talked a lot more about them in the last one year and that’s partly because of the recent restrictions on gatherings and wedding venues. That said, we still think, intimate wedding ceremonies are more of a social & cultural shift than anything else. We have also pointed out in our previous blogs that an elopement, as unconventional or nonconforming as it may sound, is in fact not really about breaking up with the traditions. Rather, diving deep into the meaning of these longstanding and remarkable customs. But of course, in a more personalized style that is reflective of every couple’s individuality.
In all honesty, an intimate wedding ceremony is probably a more profound way to embark on a journey of lifetime with your significant other! After all, your wedding day is really about the two of you. Sure, not able to share this milestone with all of your friends and family is not the most ideal and maybe not how you imagined your wedding day. But when you look back, you will always know that on this day and forward, nothing really mattered than just being able to have and to hold the love of your life, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish.
The pandemic has affected us in more ways than not, it is perhaps one of the most severe calamity our recent generation has ever witnessed. As a wedding venue, our hearts were broken when distressed brides called us to cancel their dates, we anxiously waited for the next public health announcement as dismayed couples called every week for an update. While, many couples chose to postpone their wedding ceremonies, some got creative with Zoom and backyard weddings, many chose to elope and have a low-key celebration with just a few friends and family as the restrictions started to slowly ease. But no matter how these lovely couples chose to commemorate their union, each one of these pandemic weddings were just as extraordinary, just as inspiring and beauteous. And when these couples said their vows, over zoom or in a backyard with just the two of them, our hearts were filled with the same kind of reassuring love, in fact these vows never made more sense. We were inspired to look deeper into the traditional vows and how they became part of wedding ceremonies, the way we know today.
Many believe the oldest standard wedding vows can be traced back to the Book of Common Prayer by Thomas Cranmer. The Book of Common Prayer dates back to 1549 but it isn’t the first place that these vows can be found, in fact they date back to the Sarum rite which was used in Mediaeval England. The Sarum ritual was a set of procedures followed for celebrating any kind of Christian public worship, including masses, liturgies and special occasions such as weddings.
“To have and to hold from this day forward” This key part of the wedding vows comes early on, it marks a couple’s wedding date in eternity. This is the day when forever begins. You’re making the promise that as of today the two become one.
“For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health” Here the couple pledges the depth of their love to one another. Making the promise that even if things don’t always go as planned, through the ups and downs of a marriage, you will be committed to one another without reservation. And even though there are many variations of the protestant vows, arguably they remain one of the most popular and well-known, protestant vows are in a read and repeat format with the officiant reading and the couple repeating after the officiant.
As weddings continue to evolve over time into an incredibly intimate and memorable event celebrating love and commitment, many couples choose to write their own personalized wedding vows. While some completely write their own vows, others use traditional vows and incorporate their own personal spin to them. But no matter how you choose to declare your love, the sentiment is one that has really stood the test of time, as relevant to modern relationships now as it was 500 years ago.
